The Other Side Of The Story
Ever since he told me that he writes on his blog about our break up I have been following his posts. For some time I wanted to write my own thoughts on this matter but it has been so painful to gather my thoughts. I guess it is the only way we tell each other how we feel. We used to tell each other everything but now it seems we don’t have anything to share. I keep wondering when this happened. I wonder about a lot of things mostly how he is. I was happy when I read that he was ok and he found everything that he wanted or close to it. I on the other hand I am not even close to whatever he imagined I would be/do after the break up. I am just a mess trying to live a life that is not mine anymore and it also doesn’t make sense.
I keep wondering how the person that I most loved became the person that most hurt me in life. Even if being dumped isn’t the worst thing that happened to me it definitely is most painful. Probably because it came from someone I would have expected more. (Yeah expectations make your life miserable.) He made all the decisions I mean the important ones and leave me with the minor ones. Even the break up was his decision. I was just presented the decision after the fact. I only had two choices: take it or leave it. Even though at first I tried to keep us together it only lasted 3 months. It was just my delusional denial because the breakup was already decided by him. I just wanted to be able to defend my side of the story and not after the fact when everything was chosen (even the new place where he would live alone). At least to be consulted. Believe me that I try every day to forget to move on but it hurts so much that I cannot pull myself together. I spend most days crying and trying to forget.
While for him the break up was a choice for me it was a fact. My only option was to deal with it. What I am trying to say is give your partner a chance to defend himself out of respect for your relationship. Don’t make a decision for him. You should discuss all your problems. He would understand if you give him a chance. Maybe that way he could find peace later. He would understand better what is happening.
My advice is when you want to break up with your partner talk first. Don’t make up your mind and tell him your decision after the fact because everything he will say won’t be heard because you’ve already broken up with him. Maybe you can find together a solution to all your problems. Maybe not. But at least you gave it a real chance not a pretended one. Word of advice: be open minded. Don’t take the decision before really talking to your partner. Who knows maybe you realize things can be fixed and are not as bad as you see them. I know you should only make rational decisions but I ask you “Are you a robot?”. If you never follow your feelings why have a heart? And yes I believe love conquers all if you give it a chance. Don’t take the easy way out.